I’ve blogged (I had it in quotes, but it’s not a dirty word) on and off for a number of years now, although never with the intention of having other people read what I’ve written.
For a long time, I thought of blogging with an audience in mind as egotistical, so I would use the blog I had (with LiveJournal) to post information relating to whatever I was working on in regards to school or work. Most of the time, those posts would be published privately, making the blog a repository for information I needed sorted and search-able.
The more blogs I read, though, the more I realize that the format is useful (its use-value), in part, based on its social aspects. There are some blogs, like Rudy Rucker’s blog, Anecdotal Evidence, Rigorous Intuition, and Momus’s LiveJournal that are downright essential for me. I read them daily and look forward to new posts.
I’ve also thought about how a blog forces me to focus myself - there’s not the rambling I might do in my unicorn-bedazzled diary, but instead, like I learned in Freshman Composition, there’s the focus of an audience. (At least I try to make sure there’s some focus.)
I’m relatively new to the whole thing (from a public point of view), and I still have issues (more than just a fear of blogging - I’m afraid). There are layers of anonymity built into this site, although a whois search would strip that away. Yet, I still don’t use my own name on the site (part of that is the whole public/egotism thing while part of it is due to my love of the web and its built-in playfulness with identity). Is this American seriousness (wherein I speak softly (or not at all), and then, well, you know)? Southern? Just me?
And, of course, I wouldn’t be a good Bataillean if I didn’t think that my obsession with justifying my blogging based on its utility is a bit worrisome. I can’t just relax and blog because I like it? (And I do.) It reminds me of one of Momus’s posts that felt like a challenge to me (which, of course, I can’t find ( although there’s an interesting one on blogging here)), hiding behind my LiveJournal site, posting on science fiction and online communities.
There’s no way to conclude. I’m conflicted. Consolation: “I am large. I contain multitudes.“
Filed under: bataille, blogging, decreasedsales, momus, weblog
